Gert

Origin

Gertrude was once a young girl, living at home and wished to be in a far off place of magic and wonder. Her wish was granted as she was sucked into a hole in her carpet and plummeted face first into the road of Fairyland where she was sent on a quest to find a magic key to get home.

Creation

Gertrude was created by Skottie Young and first appears in I Hate Fairyland #1

Major Story Arcs

The stories of I Hate Fairyland are a mixture of one-off events tying together a main story of Gertrude and her request to return home. Gertrude’s main goal is to find a magic key to the door to Fairyland, however, due to circumstances that seem to be a mixture of her own ineptitude and poor luck, she wanders Fairyland for 27 years, never aging. This leads to Gertrude mentally aging and due to the world she inhabits and constant fear of never going home, she is constantly on the brink of insanity.

First Kill

The first person to set off Gertrude which causes her to disregard the lives of others and go on a series of killing sprees is in fact the moon, a living entity and once the narrator of Gertrude’s story.

Gertrude uses a cannon to kill the moon (though the moon is later shown in crescent form with many bandages so he may be alive) and then proceeds to kill the stars in the sky as they may be witnesses. This gets the attention of Queen Cloudia who rules Fairyland and was among the first people Gertrude met. Cloudia appears to be annoyed by Gertrude even before the stars are wiped out. In response the slaughter that Gertrude unleashes, she plans to kill, however due to Fairyland law she is unable to use her magic to harm Gertrude and as such hires others including a mercenary, a witch and anyone else able to kill Gertrude, all fail.

Gertrude continues her search for the key along with wiping out any opposition to her goal until she learns that Cloudia has conjured up another child from Earth, Happy. Happy already possesses magical powers when Gertrude met her for the first time and attempted to wipe her out, Gertrude was severely damaged after their first fight.

Gertrude’s Powers

In response to Happy’s appearance and magical powers, Gertrude looks for a means to level the playing field. She seeks out Lord Darketh Deaddeath, considered one of the seven dooms of Fairyland and after Gertrude bests the creatures in his dungeon, she is granted his powers. Which include energy absorption, magical creature manifestation, and the ability to project energy blasts.

Gertrude uses her “Kill-You-So-Hard” powers to defeat Happy by splitting the ground and causing Happy to be sucked down into the ground. The ground was sealed and Happy is not seen again, though it is not specified if she is in fact dead or not, simply believed to be so.

Once Happy was defeated (and possibly killed), Gertrude seized the key for herself and was finally able to open the door to return home. The victory was short lived however as Gertrude was preparing to leave after nearly 30 years trapped in her own candy-coated nightmare of talking stuffed animals and mythical creatures, she was confronted by Cloudia who was upset at Happy’s demise but glad to finally see Gertrude leaving. Cloudia watched as Gertrude was about to leave and remarked “I am indeed sad, that your goodbye does not contain more death”. The response caused Gertrude to pause and kill Cloudia, obliterating her into ash in front of the door. The door then sealed shut with Gertrude stuck in Fairyland as Fairyland law states that any being who kills the current ruler of Fairyland must take their place as ruler of Fairyland.

Gertrude’s Dream & Rule

After the death of Cloudia at the hands of Gertrude, she was placed as the new ruler and had a dream of a tyrannical rule where she was powerful, beloved despite her cruelty and finally an adult with a curvaceous and busty build just like that of Cloudia. Gertrude is rocked from her dream by the discussion of signatures and documents as she awakens to find herself, still young and in a throne room being forced to sign paper after paper and learning that the entire job of queen is far more boring than she had bargained for.