Ham was born in southern Wales in 379 A.D. From birth, his father noticed Ham had a birth mark on his right breast, which he took to be the mark of Baal, a sign that the child was cursed. He took the child to a hill of standing stones nearby (Stonehenge today), the “Druid’s Place”, and laid him on an alter to die from the elements. His wife was horrified when she found out and sent him back to rescue the babe. Kevin found the child unhurt and lifted the baby into the air in praise. A bolt of lightening struck the man and burned him to his bones, yet the babe was unharmed. A druid came upon the sacred place and discovered the baby. He took him to a wet nurse, proclaiming him a child of prophecy and named him Hamaglystwythbrnxaxlotl.
By 412 A.D., Ham had become a great weather wizard, using blood sacrifices to increase his abilities. The locals cried out against this and gathered wizards from around the world to destroy the Weather Wizard. Because they were unable to kill him, Ham was placed in a coma and thrown into the sea. Ham awoke in the current century, found by the police and placed in a mental institution in a cell next to the Badger. He made telepathic contact with the Badger, who updated him to the changes in the world. Armed with this new knowledge, Ham escaped and amassed a fortune by manipulating the weather in the stock market. Soon after Ham hired the Badger as his bodyguard and his therapist from the mental institution, Daisy Fields, as his personal secretary.
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